Understanding Depression

"I saw that all things that I feared and which feared me had nothing good or bad about them save insofar as the mind was affected by them."

Spinoza

People experience depression in different ways.

"When I'm feeling depressed I can't be bothered doing anything. I just want to stay in bed and avoid everyone and everything."

(Michelle)

"For me it is like having a great weight on my shoulders. It is as if I am fighting my way through a thick blinding mist and have become lost. Sometimes I don't feel that I'm able to keep fighting."

(David)

"When I'm depressed, I feel that I am no one anymore. My inside is like an empty pit. All I want to do is to curl up and disappear. I can't face anyone - I don't want them to see me crying like this. I feel so frightened. If only I had measles or a broken leg - I could accept that more."

(Katherine)

"I get so lonely sometimes. I hear the clock tick and listen to the time pass so slowly and just wish that the day would hurry up and finish."

(Ruth)

Normal Moods

Moods are an important part of our everyday experiences and add a certain richness to the quality of life. From time to time everyone feels 'down' or 'fed up' or 'out of sorts'. Sadness, concern, disappointment and annoyance can be useful emotional responses to siuations that did not turn out the way you would have liked them to. These feelings are often a message that some effort is required to readjust, or that something constructive must be done to deal with your feelings or to change the situation.

Depression

Many people will experience more marked distressing feelings at some time during their life. Depression lasts longer than sadness and the blues and the accompanying feelings of helpnessness, hopelessness and indecisiveness are often considerable.

Mood

• feeling sad, moody, gloomy or dispirited
• feeling irritable and unable to cope with everyday demands
• feeling guilty and blaming yourself
• feeling dead or numb emotionally
• inability to experience pleasure
• anxiety
• dreading everyday activities
• experiencing despair

Thinking

• seeing yourself in a much poorer light
• being overly self-critical
• blaming yourself for doing dreadful things
• believing that your depression is a punishment for past wrongs
• negative expectations and doubts about the future
• believing that you can't cope and that things are out of your control
• experiencing difficulty making decisions and thinking clearly
• thinking of suicide or other destructive activities, even planning how you might act out such urges
• imagining that others are putting you down and are out to get you
• poor concentration and memory

Behaviour

• decrease in activities
• lack of energy and motivation
• weepiness or difficulty in crying if you want to
• agitation and inability to stick at things for very long
• sluggishness
• social withdrawal or dependency on people
• increased use of drugs or alcohol

Physical Health

• loss of appetite leading to weight loss
• over-eating or food cravings
• disturbed sleep patterns - waking up during the night and being unable to get back to sleep, difficulty falling asleep or increased sleep
• loss of interest in sexual activities
• aches, pains and gatro-intestinal problems
• menstrual irregularities
• feeling physically ill